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|Profile title||PLEASE......Read all the profile! |
|Profile description||Don't read on if you're easily offended by straight talking people with a dry sense of humour. I do not need feedback on this profile or tips on how to change it to please you. If it annoys you take a deep breath and move on..........It's also quite long, I know this, I wrote it over the course of a year. I don't need this fact pointed out when you have bum ache because I'm not interested in you. I won't be entertaining any arguments via messaging as I have better things to do than sort through strangers insecurities. You will be blocked.
I do not give out my phone number or address.
This is not blind date. You will need a face picture. On here, not kik or whatsapp. FYI - you can upload for private message only.......I have three.....this is how I know. Obscure photos don't count... I have just received one cropped to just show the eyes... With sunglasses! Get a grip people, it's ridiculous.
IF I REQUIRE A PICTURE OF A FLACID PENIS, I WILL ASK. Don't particularly want photo's of erect ones either, thanks. That's why I didn't tick 'picture exchange' in 'what are you into?'.
I prefer tall (5'10"+), dark haired, bearded, 30's. But not exclusively. Slim doesn't ring my bell either, as I prefer a partner who is bigger than me and skinny is frankly uncomfortable.
You must drive and have a working mode of transport. I am not a taxi driver or hard up enough to pick you up.
I AM NOT IN THE LEAST BIT SUBMISSIVE. You will not change my mind, ever, attempting to do so is both offensive and futile. So please don't bother sending me any msgs about this, it turns me right off and I will want to smack u up side yr head. :P
Looking for regular meets with one person only so therefore you have to be fairly close - within 20-30 miles of Colchester.
Must be able to string a sentence together.
Singles only i. e. NO 'COUPLES' ,-whether on here singularly/in an open relationship/MARRIED or as a 2 for 1 deal. I don't mind if not exclusive, but not creeping about behind someone's back and/or only meeting on your terms. I just told someone I wasn't interested as he was married, his reply: "im not, I was told that the reason I wasn't getting much luck on here was due to the 'Single' status". Let's be frank.... I won't treat you like a complete lying, idiotic, pathetic, misogynistic scumbag if you don't treat me like a moron. :)
I always play safe which includes condoms and not having the initial meet in quiet, dark places. Let's be civil and meet for a coffee/drink first eh?
NOT interested in phone sex/sexting/webcamming/picture exchange so would have to be CLOSE TO COLCHESTER - yes, I have heard of trains, planes and automobiles. But I don't have a magical time machine.
Can't believe I have to state this here as should be pretty clear: not into women, couples, tv/ts, poo, wee, dominant males, married men, being a "sub-slut" ....illegal relations..... To be continued no doubt! Ahhh, here we are: not even allowed to type it! - NO! NO! NO!
If you make arrangements to meet and then let me down then I won't bother again.
I will no longer be sending a reply back to everyone. I understand the concept that it is polite, I agree. But the argument that it only takes a minute doesn't stand because I am generally met with a barrage of further messages. In which men try to change my mind and quite often become abusive. So apologies if this is not you but having no psychic abilities I cannot tell.
I little tip to save us both time, if your message begins: I have read your profile and don't quite fit the bill.... Blah, blah! Delete it and try someone else. You wouldn't go for a job interview advertising for an accountant if you were a plumber.
Here's a few no-no's for you:
... "horny guy wants a gf or wife. msg me if let me fuck.you" er....... No!
Wana hear me wanking?...... No!
Hi pics look great and wow amazing tits ! Fancy some dirty chat? I'm horny as fk with a massive hard on for you x...... No!
So you genuine, up for meets, dirty weekends away being explored, used, fucked hard rough and brutal in all your holes?...... NO!
Same author as above: message header:BRUTAL ROUGH SEX. (WTF?!?)
I don't mind your not experienced, as long as your honest, genuine, and looking to experiment, and adventurous sexually then I am willing to guide you, train you into the sub lifestyle. As your inexperienced and you mentioned your shy I would expect you to be open, I usually have a 5 strikes rule, meaning I expect you to try things 5 times before telling me if you dislike it and want that set as one of your sexual limits.
If you are genuine then message me if you want to take the next step?..... Needless to say this is another no! What is very disturbing is the fact I have never spoken to him. He appears to just enjoy sending fantastical messages to random people? A very sad case. Also any man that needs to be told 'no' five times is not only an idiot but a rapist.
*update* here's another one same author:NASTY ROUGH FUCKING:
"You genuine up for dirty nasty weekends away? If your looking to be used, abused and all holes left sore then let's chat?" Again... Let's not! Bravo for finding another word though "nasty" impressive, a whole five letters, to the point, descriptive! Here's some for you: Supercilious, autocratic and assumptive!
Subslut you up for dirty weekends, hotels and being used abused as a 3 hole fucktoy?
Dickhead you up for a weekend of learning to read and being taught some manners? Pop round I could also make you very sore.
Slag slut the fact you took forever to reply says one thing what a worthless bitch and you would have to pay guys to fuck you. Your better off buying peanut butter and adopting a dog, let’s see if your smart enough to connect the dots whore.
You sad little bastard. You really do have a sick mind. Tell me, what is your success rate? Have you ever found anyone who appreciates your boring, unoriginal tripe? I took a while to reply because I have a life in the real world and haven't been on here. You I suspect are a pathetic, overlooked little man who suffers with erectile dysfunction along with a whole host of mental/ social/ learning disabilities. Take your tiny penis and vile rantings somewhere else. I know you.....your the type who seeks out vulnerable people to exploit. You can't even get that right, I'm not vulnerable. I've dealt with worse before I've had my weetabix. Now be a good little weirdo and fuck off!
You pathetic worthless slag. (Then fucking blocked me, the witty little prick!)
Fancy some dirty bare back sex I can cum in you in the back of my van x..... Oh go on then you little charmer. Just kidding - NO, NO!
Hi sexy how are your
Fancy letting me fuck you onver the bonnet of my car then lick your pussy while I play with your tits x
I will make you squirt then fuck you hard and deep then cum deep in side you bare back and hold it in till it goes soft while I lick and duck your nipples.......... Nooooooo!
Just wanking my horsecock...,U?..... For the love of God, no!
i want licking ur pussy....I no understand you sentences, dipshit... NO!
Are you a mother?x..... My reply:Are you a pedophile? What a very strange and creepy introduction...... NO!
"Hey. xx"....Do you put the same amount of effort into shagging? No!
"you're beautiful!".... Why thank you, but how can you tell from a tit photo?!? No!
"I would love to fuck you Bareback and cum inside your pussy...
James xxx (0750 *** 5442)".......can you not read man! No!
How are you doing, would you like to meet i would love to fuck and cum multiple times inside your pussy and impregnating you wile kissing and sucking your tongue grabbing your boobs sucking and licking your tits x....... Seriously?!? Grabbing boobs and sucking tongues? Impregnating? Why?!?... And that's another no, perhaps I am just picky?!?
Hi June. Looking to learn and improve as a lover. Would love to learn from you?
Merv......(5'7" tall,60 miles away and I assume illiterate?) That's a no also. Pathetic is a right turn off and after rejection he turned quite nasty!
Here's a new one for 2019!
i would like to masturbate my cock in front of you while you watch me spunk up.
Actually that sounds really dull.
Reward for a meet
I'll pay you to please me.
I'll pass, you don't have any social skills and definitely not enough money.
hopefully getting my birthday wish wife getting boobs done yay xx
MF 51 years young!
Why would I feel the need to discuss an old man's, wife's, new tits?!? Not interested buddy.
Slim pickings people! Someone prove me wrong! ;-)
Congratulations, you have reached the end! ;P
Have a great day!
WARNING: Any person using this site or any of its associated sites for study/projects or any other purpose - You do not have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form for anything outside this site. Ignoring this will be a serious violation of my rights and will be subject to legal action.
|What kind of people do you want to meet?||Straight man|
|What are you into?||Dogging|
|Your interests||Plenty.........none of which include disscussing my sex life or fantasies with complete strangers on here, whilst their mum makes their pack-up and they sit in their box bedroom having a tommy.
I am also not here to reply to weekly boring messages such as: "what are you upto today?" "how's you?" "are you enjoying the weather?" YAAAAAWWWWNNNNN! |
|Where are you from?||Essex |
|Other locations||Colchester, Clacton, Walton, Ipswich, sudbury... |