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No penetrative sex!!!

*aptain_mithras By *aptain_mithras   profile verified by photo (M) 3 weeks ago

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It came to me in a flash just a moment ago. It is 2019 and I have not indulged in a single act of penetrative sex.

A few kisses, cuddles, snuggles and a blow job but that's it ..... I hope things pick up

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*oft Centre By  *oft Centre    profile verified by photo premium paying member (M) 3 weeks ago

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Early days yet!

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*aptain_mithras By *aptain_mithras   profile verified by photo (M) 3 weeks ago

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It’s nearly a flipping week. I’m meeting a lady I see regularly later this morning but she is not feeling too good so I doubt we will be diving under the duvet.

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By *oonshadow   profile verified by photo (F 3 weeks ago

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the withdrawal symptoms must be bad

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*ne for the road By  *ne for the road    profile verified by photo premium paying member (M) 3 weeks ago

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cold turkey gobble gobble

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By *oonshadow   profile verified by photo (F 3 weeks ago

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Get out the branston pickle, beetroot and coleslaw

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*aptain_mithras By *aptain_mithras   profile verified by photo (M) 3 weeks ago

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Well talking of food .. she wasn’t well enough to spend a morning in bed but on the plus side she did cook lunch lol.

Day 5 of 2019 and I’m still a virgin.

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By *oonshadow   profile verified by photo (F 3 weeks ago

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no doubt you will be off to the garden centre

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By *utwillie   profile verified by photo (M) 3 weeks ago

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"no doubt you will be off to the garden centre"

Your garden centre must be more accommodating than mine. I've never managed to get a shag there, the only pricks on display are on the cacti.

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By *eizah  (TV/TS/CD) 2 weeks ago

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Pricks at our local Garden Centre are called the Staff!

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By *oonshadow   profile verified by photo (F 2 weeks ago

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ouch, that was more like a rose thorn

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By *eizah  (TV/TS/CD) 2 weeks ago

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How did you know her name's Rose? Giggles..x

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*aptain_mithras By *aptain_mithras   profile verified by photo (M) 2 weeks ago

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"How did you know her name's Rose? Giggles..x"

The same way I knew your name was Giggles

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By *eizah  (TV/TS/CD) 2 weeks ago

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Can't beat a good giggle! X

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By *oonshadow   profile verified by photo (F 2 weeks ago

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Could try and beat it out of you

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*r and Mrs shy By  *r and Mrs shy    profile verified by photo premium paying member (M)(F 2 weeks ago

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Lol can we watch ha ha ha

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By *oonshadow   profile verified by photo (F 2 weeks ago

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Need an egg whisk

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*r and Mrs shy By  *r and Mrs shy    profile verified by photo premium paying member (M)(F 2 weeks ago

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Electric or manual

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By *oonshadow   profile verified by photo (F 2 weeks ago

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Manual, like to build up a sweat

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*r and Mrs shy By  *r and Mrs shy    profile verified by photo premium paying member (M)(F 2 weeks ago

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If your getting a sweat on your half way there

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*izzle1955 By *izzle1955   profile verified by photo (M) 2 weeks ago

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does slipping a finger into myself as I wank count as penetrative sex ? if yes I have had some.....

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By *eastoke  (M) 2 weeks ago

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To be honest, things not so good these days physically, so I have withdrawn from that, and concentrate on oral and fingers / and toys....however, orgasms are guaranteed.

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By *oonshadow   profile verified by photo (F 2 weeks ago

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always good to have some diy skills

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*orkshire rock By  *orkshire rock    profile verified by photo premium paying member (M) 2 weeks ago

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Yes Moonshadow...I am feeling sleepy...I am under your spell....

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By *oonshadow   profile verified by photo (F 2 weeks ago

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That's what happens when look too intensely at my whisk

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*orkshire rock By  *orkshire rock    profile verified by photo premium paying member (M) 2 weeks ago

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It wasn't your whisk I was looking at.....

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By *oonshadow   profile verified by photo (F 2 weeks ago

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blessed be

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By  *adolderguy    profile verified by photo premium paying member (M) 2 weeks ago

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blessed be the whiskers , they re bound to tickle your fancy

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*unwithoutstring By *unwithoutstring   profile verified by photo (M) 2 weeks ago

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Not that I want to make you feel bad, but ive had it 7 times so far this year with my two regular girls and today I'm having a one off with someone else.

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*aptain_mithras By *aptain_mithras   profile verified by photo (M) 2 weeks ago

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"Not that I want to make you feel bad, but ive had it 7 times so far this year with my two regular girls and today I'm having a one off with someone else. "

.

Brilliant and well done haha!!! I have several ladies I see regularly but following Christmas one is on holiday in Scotland, one is in dorset with family, a semi-regular I would have popped over to see has her son staying with her and my most faithful sexual companion has a cold/flu or whatever is going round and is very unwell although I have arranged to see her tomorrow.

I used the word penetrative as I have seen 'Thursday' girl who is gorgeous and as sexy as hell but she cannot have penetrative sex which has never been a problem and in many ways makes a nice change.

I have been a slow starter myself this first week of 2019 .. a bit lethargic lol.

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*aptain_mithras By *aptain_mithras   profile verified by photo (M) 2 weeks ago

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"blessed be the whiskers , they re bound to tickle your fancy"

.

I've tried Whiskas and discovered eating cat food does not get you pussy lol.

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By *oonshadow   profile verified by photo (F 2 weeks ago

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for 8 out of 10 it does

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*aptain_mithras By *aptain_mithras   profile verified by photo (M) 2 weeks ago

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"for 8 out of 10 it does"

But what about the other three?

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By *oonshadow   profile verified by photo (F 2 weeks ago

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What number do you have on the back of your shirt?

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*lFinito By *lFinito   profile verified by photo (M) 2 weeks ago

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hello,, how are you , been a while

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*aptain_mithras By *aptain_mithras   profile verified by photo (M) 2 weeks ago

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"What number do you have on the back of your shirt?"

69 always 69

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By *oonshadow   profile verified by photo (F 2 weeks ago

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an awful lot of reserves then, must be a lot of fowl play

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*aptain_mithras By *aptain_mithras   profile verified by photo (M) 2 weeks ago

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but I never chicken out

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By *oonshadow   profile verified by photo (F 2 weeks ago

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I was told that you have chicken legs

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By *eizah  (TV/TS/CD) 2 weeks ago

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Drumsticks?!

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*izzle1955 By *izzle1955   profile verified by photo (M) 2 weeks ago

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Chick chick chick chick chicken play a little thong for me.

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By  *adolderguy    profile verified by photo premium paying member (M) 2 weeks ago

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well as xmas is just past you ll all know who prefers breast or just a little stuffing

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By *eizah  (TV/TS/CD) 2 weeks ago

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The Thighs the limit.....

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By  *adolderguy    profile verified by photo premium paying member (M) 2 weeks ago

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not if you like the stuffing

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By  *Enoch    profile verified by photo premium paying member (M) 2 weeks ago

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... lay one for my tea.

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*aptain_mithras By *aptain_mithras   profile verified by photo (M) 2 weeks ago

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Well I know you are all going to be excited and wanting to celebrate with me .... I've done it in 2019 lol.

I stayed (almost) overnight with a lady friend and even had a bit extra to make up for my long wait since last year (the previous occasion was New Year's Eve.

Right follow me while we do a conga and then I'll get the drinks in haha!!!!!!

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By *unning69  (M) 2 weeks ago

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Well done sir go to the top of the class or is it sit on the naughty step LOL

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*ne for the road By  *ne for the road    profile verified by photo premium paying member (M) 2 weeks ago

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mines a large one

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By *oonshadow   profile verified by photo (F 2 weeks ago

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"mines a large one "

but what size drink do you want?

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By  *adolderguy    profile verified by photo premium paying member (M) 2 weeks ago

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by the sounds of it a large nooky broon (a Newcastle brown ale, to the uninitiated)

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*aptain_mithras By *aptain_mithras   profile verified by photo (M) 2 weeks ago

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OMG .. nookie broon .. not heard that for a few years!!!! Can't recall if you drink it or shag it lol.

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By *unning69  (M) 2 weeks ago

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Nookie amber from my youth as well

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By *eizah  (TV/TS/CD) 2 weeks ago

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Currently enjoying Hung Drawn n' Portered by the pint full.....yum

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*izzle1955 By *izzle1955   profile verified by photo (M) 2 weeks ago

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strong n dark ?

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By *eizah  (TV/TS/CD) 2 weeks ago

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A lot like the fantasies lurking in the corners of my mind....

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By  *Enoch    profile verified by photo premium paying member (M) 2 weeks ago

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Great, innit.

We can think what we like and there's nuffin' anyone can do about it.

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*aptain_mithras By *aptain_mithras   profile verified by photo (M) 2 weeks ago

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"Great, innit.

We can think what we like and there's nuffin' anyone can do about it.

"

Yes. But when you thinking whatever you like .... don’t stare at her breasts.

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By  *adolderguy    profile verified by photo premium paying member (M) 2 weeks ago

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thats why I was asked to leave the pub then

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By  *Enoch    profile verified by photo premium paying member (M) 1 week ago

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If a bird walks into a pub with her tits out she cannot legislate who looks at them.

Fact.

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*iManExeter By *iManExeter  (M) 1 week ago

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"If a bird walks into a pub with her tits out she cannot legislate who looks at them.

Fact."

If by your use of the word 'bird' you mean a woman, she cannot individually legislate anything! Laws are NOT passed by individuals!

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*aptain_mithras By *aptain_mithras   profile verified by photo (M) 1 week ago

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The right honourable gentleman is right to point this out.

Booooo hisssss hooorah

I bet you thought it was PMQs lol.

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By *utwillie   profile verified by photo (M) 1 week ago

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Once caught my girl friend bending over the freezer trying to get at a frozen dinner for 2. I couldn't resist, and penetrated her from behind in the classic doggy style. We had fantastic sex with a glorious orgasm for both of us. However, the manager of Tesco threw us out of the store before we had a chance to finish the shopping.

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*aptain_mithras By *aptain_mithras   profile verified by photo (M) 1 week ago

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My new motto “Onwards and upwards” ......the ladies seem to enjoy that too.

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By  *Enoch    profile verified by photo premium paying member (M) 3 days ago

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Carpe Diem.

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