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Well its the 13th today, not Friday, but never mind, I spotted a lone Magpie, which where I come from is considered an omen of bad luck. I undertook the dispelling ritual of saying 'Good morning Mr Magpie I hope you and your family are well', this being the tried and tested formula of generations before me by way of avoiding any potential nasties occurring during the course of my day.
Moments later, as I was just about to get into my car, I was the victim of an attack by a diuretic seagull which shit all over my jacket! I do declare it must have been eating tar and superglue, what a fecking mess!