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Whispers in chat - yay or nay

*arah-jane By  *arah-jane    profile verified by photo premium paying member 8 weeks ago

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We're considering blocking whispers in chat

Because some people are abusing them

We think maybe chat is for public stuff

PMs for private if necessary

Any views? Please cast your vote here with a yes or a no

Sj x

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*outhend_naughties By  *outhend_naughties    profile verified by photo premium paying member 22 public photos on profile (M)(F 8 weeks ago

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I think they should go! Its rude to whisper! Lol xx

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By *oselecta  (M) 8 weeks ago

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Stay!!!!

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By *racy691   premium paying member (F 8 weeks ago

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they should go chatrooms are 4 community chat not private chat we have here 4 that

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*imandcat By  *imandcat    profile verified by photo premium paying member 22 public photos on profile (M)(F 8 weeks ago

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we totally agree they should go we have been the target of several total idiots whispering crude things they have no right saying

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*entalmandie By  *entalmandie    profile verified by photo premium paying member 69 public photos on profile (F 8 weeks ago

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i think they shud go

1 reason is cos i cant do um and everyone laffs wen i muck um up

another reason my mate numchukfuk was being verbally abused in chat too

jim n cat have been abused by whisphers and they r 2 top class peeps

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*arah-jane By  *arah-jane    profile verified by photo premium paying member 8 weeks ago

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Please keep the feedback coming

Speak now or forever... etc!

SJ x

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*xluxuriaxx By  *xluxuriaxx    profile verified by photo premium paying member 9 public photos on profile (M)(F 8 weeks ago

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hold your penis ... i mean peace go go go

if u are seriously intrested in somsone message them using prvt message

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*ndybasildon By  *ndybasildon    profile verified by photo premium paying member 4 public photos on profile 1 public videos on profile (M) 8 weeks ago

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I vote whispers to be only bought in shops....

The ones on here are open to abuse... we when they can be done correct.

Whereas if you want to send private messages you can control those you actualy want via the Pm thing. You dont get the Verbal Abuse as you can get with a whisper... AND IF YOU DO... its cut and paste to SJ for some arse kicking.. otherwise its your word against their word they you got some whispered abuse.

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By *oselecta  (M) 8 weeks ago

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I agree that being abused by whisper is not on. I suppose because i would never abuse anyone by whisper or never actually get anyone whispering to me then i dont really realise the upset they might be causing. Just one quick question! Can somebody whisper to you if you have blocked them???? if not then that is always an option. Otherwise maybe it is best if they go although it seems like another "victory" for the minority of dickheads on here intent on fucking it up for the rest which is a shame!!

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By *alford guy   profile verified by photo (M) 8 weeks ago

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a whisper can be a discrete way of givibg your contact no email ect abuse should not be tolerated simple

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*taffybull By *taffybull   profile verified by photo 14 public photos on profile 7 public videos on profile (M)(F 8 weeks ago

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,,,

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*olly knickers By  *olly knickers    profile verified by photo premium paying member 26 public photos on profile 1 public videos on profile (M)(F 8 weeks ago

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Whispers should go, cause more problems than not having them. Pm's are there for a reason.

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By  *forfun_uk    profile verified by photo premium paying member 2 public photos on profile (M)(F 8 weeks ago

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we think they should go

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*ewport1 By  *ewport1    profile verified by photo premium paying member 6 public photos on profile (M) 8 weeks ago

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Never been able to make them work, but I don't hold with anyone being abused or harrassed so please take them away.

Mike

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*moothienw By *moothienw   premium paying member 6 public photos on profile (F 8 weeks ago

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divided here - i use the whispers ocasionally - just as a quick way of getting a message - one guy did keep on whispering and even though i asked him to stop he didnt so i simply blocked him - but it is a way of abuse and if that is happening i say get rid - i can live without them - just have to pm and let the person know in chat ive mailed them -

i know some folk have come close to leaving cos of abuse through various routes and if it keeps those peeps here w e have to do what we have to do

xxx

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By  *adger8    profile verified by photo premium paying member 16 public photos on profile (M) 8 weeks ago

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ok call me a thick twat whats a bloody whisper lol

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*arah-jane By  *arah-jane    profile verified by photo premium paying member 8 weeks ago

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Ok the techies have disabled whispers

They'll still be available until the thingy restarts which we don't want to do right now because it's busy

But expect them to be gone tomorrow

SJ x

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By  *forfun_uk    profile verified by photo premium paying member 2 public photos on profile (M)(F 8 weeks ago

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as mrs 2 said without actually telling me(lol) bin them.

If people want to contact someone theres mail. If that persons blcock those particular amils the chances are they dont want to talk to the other person any how.

As far as I know theres not many people use the whispers and if you get the coding wring your gonna land yourself in a world of hurt when the whole room see's you calling someone an idiot lol

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*heshirecpl By  *heshirecpl    profile verified by photo premium paying member 31 public photos on profile (M)(F 8 weeks ago

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My vote was to get rid too.

Is a "thingy" the technical term SJ? :-)

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*arah-jane By  *arah-jane    profile verified by photo premium paying member 8 weeks ago

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lol it is for me

tx to all for their feedback

SJ x

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By  *forfun_uk    profile verified by photo premium paying member 2 public photos on profile (M)(F 8 weeks ago

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"thingy"???

technical term for what I may ask

lol

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*heshirecpl By  *heshirecpl    profile verified by photo premium paying member 31 public photos on profile (M)(F 8 weeks ago

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A thingy, you know one of them thingys this women uses all the time too to describe something :-)

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*moothienw By *moothienw   premium paying member 6 public photos on profile (F 8 weeks ago

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thingy might be the server - who knows ;)

ive had many a good time with a thingy -

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*an_n_dim By *an_n_dim   premium paying member 32 public photos on profile (M)(F 8 weeks ago

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I'm never in favour of banning things, it's a pity to lose whispers because others abused them, why did people just not block anyone giving them abuse?

Once again the moron minority dictate to the majority....

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*aryy palmer By  *aryy palmer    profile verified by photo premium paying member 2 public photos on profile (M) 8 weeks ago

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Shame for me I didn't pick up his thread before the decision was made.

I use whispers occassionally, not that I am the biggest chat-room user, and I think they are rather useful. Without them you will, I think, find parallel msn convos going on between friends which detracts from the chat-room.

Given that the whispers are blocked when a user is blocked I see no reason to stop them. I am assuming they are logged like all chat-room communications and can therefore be read back by the mods.

The argument that some have been abused this way can be extended to the chat-room itself - I would say there is a bigger argument for stopping the audio feed, as that has also been abused. Hey, and some have been abused in public chat too - where do we stop?

Abuse = block, report, forget.

No need to disable functions when blocking is an adequate answer.

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*arah-jane By  *arah-jane    profile verified by photo premium paying member 8 weeks ago

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I'm happy to review this decision in a week and see whether people are happier or sadder about the chat room

SJ x

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*imandcat By  *imandcat    profile verified by photo premium paying member 22 public photos on profile (M)(F 8 weeks ago

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from the folk we've spoke to they're glad the whispers are gone...... it is funny when folk dont know tho and we all see there whisper!!! sorry lol

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*urvy katie By *urvy katie   premium paying member 1 public photos on profile (M)(F 8 weeks ago

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I think whisper's are very much open to interpritation. Some people use it as a quick means of communicating (sometimes good) an as an iritation (more often than not). It's a shame that people cant be bothered to excercise their fingers and file the oppropriate reports to sj, yet again the minority have spoilt a part of the site for others. WELL DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET A GRIP AND GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!! Kev

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By *entman  (M) 8 weeks ago

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I am in favour of whispers - very much quicker and easier than PMs. And VERY funny when they go wrong and everyone sees the whisper! If a whisperer is a nuisance tell him/her and then block him/her if it persists. It can be good to have a private conversation while watching the public ones. Bring back whispers!

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By  *all-me-bubbles-darling    profile verified by photo premium paying member 3 public photos on profile (F 8 weeks ago

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I could never get them to work anyway and they just confused me when people whispered me....

I wont miss them x

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*urvy katie By *urvy katie   premium paying member 1 public photos on profile (M)(F 8 weeks ago

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Perhaps you would have missed them more if you actually came in chat a little bit more often cmbd??? I've been online for approx a year now and can say with conviction that i've been in chat nearly every day of that year and i can say in all that time i've only seen you in chat twice. Anyone who say's they cant get whispers right obviously cant read as it explains quite clearly how to do it when you enter the chat room. I revert back to my previuos post, people excercise your fingers and carry out the appropriate sections on peoples profiles then report to sj. Katie n Kev

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*ittle-lady By  *ittle-lady    profile verified by photo premium paying member (F 8 weeks ago

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i agree katie,,,a use the chat rooma bit more now and a think the wispers are ok,,,a sumtimes lose track of whos talik tl me ,,and the wispers help,,if people are gettin crap then they shud do as requested anfd report them ..

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By  *awtys    profile verified by photo premium paying member 6 public photos on profile (M)(F 8 weeks ago

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i agree whispers can be good or bad, ive used them occassionally to ask a personal question to friends,yes weve had abuse but as people have said u can block them n report them.i have seen in the room when people are whispering abuse how it upsets people. i think that it shud be reinstated but the mods shud be able to see the whispers so that they can see if someone is being abusive.

mrs nawty

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*aspberry-ink By  *aspberry-ink    profile verified by photo premium paying member 23 public photos on profile (M)(F 8 weeks ago

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Bring em back. we have used them, usually to grab a certain persons attention or to say something within a conversation that is private but isnt worth the hassle of pm which would lose the flow of converation.

I dont understand why everyone doesnt use their right to block people who are abusive or annoying...its so bloody simple

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By  *all-me-bubbles-darling    profile verified by photo premium paying member 3 public photos on profile (F 8 weeks ago

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Not that is has anything to do with the topic in question but i do occassionally pop into cam chat... and have spent time there too but i really dont feel comfortable there with my own cam on as anyone with premium membrship can access it, regardless of whether they have completed a profile or been verified.

I switch my camon purely to confirm i am who i say i am if asked to do so.

SJ asked the question for general opinions on whether whispers were used.... i answered.

Many others also said they werent bothered if they were thereor not so why has my not using the chat room as much as others been even brought into the equation?

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*moothienw By *moothienw   premium paying member 6 public photos on profile (F 8 weeks ago

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mmmm kent man - i like your whispers xx

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By *word-stileto  (M)(F 8 weeks ago

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To have or not to have that is the question!!!

Could'nt you have it that when you log into the chat room the whispers are disabled but have the option that if you want to you can turn them on yourself!!?

That way you would'nt get unwanted whispers & ppl would have to ask to whisper...

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*heshirecpl By  *heshirecpl    profile verified by photo premium paying member 31 public photos on profile (M)(F 8 weeks ago

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~~obviously can't read properly and have been severly reprimanded.

I do find I don't normally have trouble reading and I have actually read how to send a whisper. I have had a whisper say it couldn't be sent.....I have then pasted what I had written previous and it was sent, without me changing it. So maybe it is gremlins and not people not being able to read.

It matters not how many times you have used chat as to wether it is twice or 365 days, you can still have an opinion on wether you actually like them or not.

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By  *all-me-bubbles-darling    profile verified by photo premium paying member 3 public photos on profile (F 8 weeks ago

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Thank you Chesh... Like you i had similar problems, i know HOW to send them, they just dont alwasy work for me and and when they dont i get in a muddle sending things to the wrong place or to the room etc....

Far better to keep the conversation open and any private messages be done in ermmm Private Messages lol

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By *gtrainer  (M) 8 weeks ago

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The whispers are open to abuse, however they do have positive sides and offer the option for more intermate private conversations without going to msn.

Removing them penalises the majority for the indescressions of the minority.

This will be the same minority who will find another way to cause an issue.

The more effective way to deal with them is to block them and then report them to SJ, where the situation can be reviewed and proportional action taken.

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*heshirecpl By  *heshirecpl    profile verified by photo premium paying member 31 public photos on profile (M)(F 8 weeks ago

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To be honest I didn't realise how many people do actually use them, as they were not working in chat last night when people were putting them in, the chat was going nineteen to the dozen and I couldn't keep up at all... so maybe they are worth having just to slow the room down lol

Personally though, because I don't often use them, I don't need them, but if it is the only way to stop the abusers/directors who use whispers to do it with, then I say yah still.

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By *gtrainer  (M) 8 weeks ago

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Chesh surely we are in global in a situation where we desire to have the freedom to act and speak as we wish (so long as it doesn't offend others). Yet we wish to impose censorship here. This seems a ironic in relation to the interests we all share.

I think it is better to deal with the issues at a specific level by banning those who abuse others. Removing the whispers will not stop the acts of idiots!

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*heshirecpl By  *heshirecpl    profile verified by photo premium paying member 31 public photos on profile (M)(F 8 weeks ago

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And why SJ asked what everyone thought _gtrainer.......so everyone can say what they think and she can decided what to do.

Democracy not censorship surely?

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By  *all-me-bubbles-darling    profile verified by photo premium paying member 3 public photos on profile (F 8 weeks ago

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I must say i was suprised they had been removed so quickly and after only a handful (considering the membership numbers) had stated their prerence but as SJ has said it can be a reviewed in a week and reinstated if thats what is wanted.

And yes the system of reporting and blocking SHOULD have been effective enough... but alas too many prefer to whine to their friends rather than take the correct course of action to actually deal with problems; This knock on effect is that lots of people become 'upset' by one or two idiots and they end up leaving the site as a result.

Reporting... Blocking and moving on should be a simple enough process for even the most sensitive surely?

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* charlie x By  * charlie x    profile verified by photo premium paying member 4 public photos on profile (F 8 weeks ago

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I think we should keep whispers but maybe limit who can use them.....say maybe on verified members or have the option to block them so people can whisper to u....we can block so many other things so why not try that?

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By *gtrainer  (M) 8 weeks ago

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Chesh thats a fair point, but its still the imposition of censorship that could result.

Smacks of and animal farm, i think.

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By *gtrainer  (M) 8 weeks ago

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mental note, check the text thoroughly

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*hroomy By *hroomy   profile verified by photo 1 public photos on profile (M) 8 weeks ago

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they should stay simple as

if you dont like the whispers you get then block the person sending them

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By  *all-me-bubbles-darling    profile verified by photo premium paying member 3 public photos on profile (F 8 weeks ago

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The problem with blockingthe person sending them is you block them form all communal conversation too which may be a little excessive.

The idea of having your whispers switched off when you enter the room and switching them on if you want them seems a good compromise.

Of course if people asked in the room prior to whispering there would be no need for action like stopping them altogether.

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By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago

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i agree with bubbles..............cud we have a whisper on/off button

that does make sense

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By *entman  (M) 8 weeks ago

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It seem to me that the balance of the views is moving towards being in favour of them. Many like them, many are against. But if they are stopped it effects all. Surely it's easy enough to block anyone who 'whispers' you against your wishes - just as you can block anyone who offends in the room. I think it's nice to express personal appreciation of someone (eg Smoothie or Helen) without it going public!

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*moothienw By *moothienw   premium paying member 6 public photos on profile (F 8 weeks ago

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im sure the techys could install an option to have or not have whispers - the problem with having them and just reporting after the event is no good really - cos the damage is done - only so much people can put up with -

so sj whats the verdict :)

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*heshirecpl By  *heshirecpl    profile verified by photo premium paying member 31 public photos on profile (M)(F 8 weeks ago

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The sad part about this is.....there wouldn't be a discussion about this if they didn't abuse / direct in whispers.

As you say Smoothie, there is only so much sometimes people can take and the damage is done before you can apply the block button.

How sad and nasty some people are.

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By  *all-me-bubbles-darling    profile verified by photo premium paying member 3 public photos on profile (F 8 weeks ago

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This could be an area where Peer Led Moderation could be an effective tool... if a percentage of the room is blocking an individual they would not be allowed access to the room at that time until any issues resolved or reasons have been established.

It is very sad that a few abusing the rules have to spoil the fun for the majority.

My other question, and I may be being a bit thick here but, is that i really cant quite see how 'damage is being done' if you simply ignore the whispers and dont bother replying just simply block the person (or better still reply in the room lol... "shove it up there let me see" "No (insert user name) i wont shove it up and let you see! Please stop whispering me!") Surely once a few do this on a regular basis the offending persons will be shamed enough to not continue with their actions?

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*hroomy By *hroomy   profile verified by photo 1 public photos on profile (M) 8 weeks ago

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bubbles that was the idea of taking the whispers away because ppl were being abusive ergo you dont want any communication with them

or is this more a thing ppl are whispering to each others and the rest dont know wats going on maybe being paranoid ????????

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By  *all-me-bubbles-darling    profile verified by photo premium paying member 3 public photos on profile (F 8 weeks ago

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Hell who knows _hroomy?...

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*heshirecpl By  *heshirecpl    profile verified by photo premium paying member 31 public photos on profile (M)(F 8 weeks ago

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It isn't just direting in whispers so it seems bubbles.it seems insulting and abusing people in whispers is going on too. Me, I have a thick skin, but not everyone has, and if someone insults how you look or just abuses in general, then it may well upset someone, so yes, the damage is done before you get to block them.

The whispering is private, so I don't know how anyone would know people are having conversations with eatch other _hroomy.

We just don't use them or like recieving them, we use PM's instead...and the reason being, I miss half of whats going on in chat, as I am trying to be careful how the whisper is typed so it can be sent. PM's I can pick up anytime.

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*an_n_dim By *an_n_dim