@private mail,
+add as contact
There are many people on here who post repeatedly about their lack of success, whether they have been here a day, a week or a year. And it has been noted by many people many times, that the repetition is quite boring, and it is really. These posts are usually born of frustration and repeated rejections, so it is understandable that a person might become quite peeved, being told no or treated with contempt enough times will damage anyone’s ego no matter how confident you are.
So what’s the answer?
Well, I have looked at it from both sides and tried to be as objective as I can, and I see the same things coming up as I am sure many other members have seen the pattern of certain questions. So I have written a short guide to try and help.
Respect – such a small thing that can give you so much. Treat people with respect and they will, the majority of the time, do the same for you. Present yourself as you wish to be treated. If they don’t then simple don’t talk to them, don’t wage a slagging war, it’s just not sexy. Plus, if you are abusive you risk getting bad feedback and/or being kicked from the site. If you receive it, you just report it to Sarah-Jane and have no further contact, that’s what the block button is for.
Read the profile – This is extremely important (and the lazy have already skimmed past, tsk tsk). You need to make sure that you fit the bill of requirements. Why waste your time mailing and theirs reading, if you aren’t what they want? So many people have vastly different requirements; you are bound to be agreeable to someone. So much frustration is caused on both sides just because you couldn’t take a few moments to read. Just this one thing would make your time so much more effectively spent, in contacting people who require what you are.
Write a profile – Say something on your profile and give people a clue as to what you are like, I’m not talking autobiography here or anything revealing, just details about you and what sort of people you would like to meet. Pictures are always a good addition; however a zillion cock shots not so good. Most people like to see a face and body (Inc cock) so they have some idea what you look like. Now if there are reasons for not wanting your face public (could be work, wives, or you just don’t want to) be prepare to offer an alternative e.g. Send a picture privately over pm, or email, or even just briefly show yourself on cam (msn or chat). People can’t be expected to meet someone they haven’t seen a picture of.
Personal messages (pm’s) – The first pm you send should be simple, not an essay, and it should express interest without being too personal. Don’t use text speak, not only do a lot of people find it hard to understand, they find it a tad immature. Spelling and grammar mistakes are preferable to text speech, or use word, or an online spell-check if you are concerned. If you message a couple, address them as a couple and not just the female (it is quite rude to ignore the male half!). I would suggest that your first observations should not be aggressively sexual, for example; imagine yourself in a pub; would you walk up to a couple or a single female and gawp at the ladies boobs and say “She’s got a cracking pair mate, would love to get a chance to stick my dick in them.” How do you think that would pan out for you? It’s the same here. If you are turned down, accept it and move on, new people join up every day, and never ever pm back asking why.
Photo-verification – This is never seen by anyone other than the Admin, Sarah-Jane, so its 100% private. It shows that you are serious about your profile and getting genuine meets. Plus you can get any additional photos you upload on the front page, but only if you make them public.
Premium Membership – It has many benefits, like being able to message as much as you require, being able to use the chat room, photos on the front page (if you want them to be) and more uploads per day, and again shows you are serious.
Forums and Chatrooms – They are an excellent way to get to know people and have a laugh, and one of the best ways to get noticed yourself. You can find people in your area or with similar interests, plus see other genuine Doggers and Swingers on cam (and if you are very lucky a sexy show).
If anyone else has some useful and constructive advise please tell us.
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Giving your mobile number in a first text or on your profile - big turn off, makes you look desperate.
Keep posting to the Forum "Anyone in such and such a place fancy meeting up with a local horny guy" - also makes you look desperate!
It takes time, but plod on guys. Follow Bolly's guide above.
Persistence and patience does pay off. Keep it respectful, keep it humorous and interesting and DON'T WINGE publically about not getting any responses or meets!
I am having a great time on this site, and it is providing me with exactly what I want.
It's here for us to use as we want to. There's no thing preordained.
